Los Angeles Custody Evaluation

This session took off with a bang as we spent the first 45 minutes or so of the session discussing whether or not one parent had used something that was said in the workshop in the legal arena. This was a pretty big deal because on the very first day,everyone had to sign a form that stated that nothing that was said in the PWC workshop could be used in court. I don't understand how something like that could be enforced and so I asked the question. I didn't really get an answer, but the explaination that was given was "we signed the form agreeing to it". That didn't change the fact that I was very unsatisfied with the explaination, or the lack of explaination, of WHAT happens if you violate the agreement. I felt a LOT of that through the classes. The counselors failed to answer the question "what if it doesn't happen that way".

As promised, I have posted the ways we create a "Loyalty Bind" in our children under comments for last weeks workshop notes. My co-parent still continues to be non-participatory and virtually silent in the workshops and he only speaks when he is asked to read something or when he is asked a direct question. Last week, we were asked to prepare three "polite request" for the other parent. I am including one of my request in the formate we are required to use. Before you act on what you believe to be the meaning of something our daughter said, consider her best interest and feelings first instead of acting on your own anger and fears. WHEN: I get blamed for every problem in your relationship with Alexis I FEEL: Agitated, frustrated, abused and hopeless since I have never done anything to try to damage or severe your relationship with Alexis. BECAUSE: Alexis knows in her heart the complaints she has are valid, she feels betrayed by you for not believing her or standing up for her and further, her self esteem is severely damaged because, as she phrases is, “she is bad for lying all the time, but she has too to keep from being in trouble with you”. This is very hurtful for her and since the times last year when she was repeatedly dragged off begging and pleading for you to believe her, it’s unfair for her to feel she has to bear the burden of not crying when she doesn’t want to go with you for fear of GETTING YOU in trouble. This is too much of a burden for a child her age. Early this year, she frequently talked of wanting to die rather than to live the life she has now and even made some elementary attempts to take her own life. AND WHAT I’D LIKE IS: Before you act on what you believe to be the meaning of something Alexis said, consider ALEXIS’ best interest and feelings first instead of acting on your own anger and fears. AND I WOULD BE WILLING TO: I kid you not when I say that I left the last line blank on every request because I wanted to make a really loud statement about how I have no idea what he want's from me as a co-parent. He tends to criticize everything I do, but doesn't offer any opinion or alternative and then leaves me hanging with no idea what to do. The only request he's ever made of me was to stop doing things I wasn't doing to begin with.